i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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