he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You took a bar mat shot.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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