i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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