therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
