Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
