No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
