D3 body, D1 cock
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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