You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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