Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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