tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize