thus making me awesome and them whores
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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