i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize