They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
