he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
