don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
