I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
this will be a night to untag.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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