I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize