I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
