I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Less talking, more tequila
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
