she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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