And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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