Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize