I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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