please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
