Already got asked if we're dating
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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