He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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