I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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