i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
