no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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