I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize