Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
