I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Enjoy the penises
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize