i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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