Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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