But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
