4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
