I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
