Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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