Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
