This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
