I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
