Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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