there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
