I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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