just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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