I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
