whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
