Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
