the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
