# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
