oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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