Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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