Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize