is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
