he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
