it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
