$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
