I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
