Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
