People in love make me want to vomit
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
