Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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