Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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