I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
