I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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