dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
