why didn't you poke me back
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
