ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I could make wine with my vomit
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
